HOW TO START OVER WHEN YOU'RE SICK AND TIRED OF STARTING OVER

Happy New Year! Here we go again! It's that time of year when we collectively resolve to change all our bad habits to live perfect, healthy and stress-free lives. That usually works out, doesn't it? (crickets)

December was a crazy month, right? If it was anything like mine, I know it was full of time with family, friends, parties and gifts. It also means it was probably full of baked good, decadent foods, holiday treats and adult beverages.

As we look forward into the new year, we may be ready to make some changes. The holidays were fun, but it's time to move on. There's nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, especially when it involves spending time with the people you love, because locking yourself at home to eat carrot sticks while your loved ones celebrate is not healthy either. It's all about finding balance. 

If there is one thing I have learned in having experienced a few decades of new year resolutions, it's that the change-your-whole-life-in-one-day method is rarely (if ever) effective. It's just not how we humans work. 

HOW TO START OVER WHEN YOU'RE TIRED OF STARTING OVER.

It's January 1st. A lot of people are starting over today. So how do you start over when frankly, you are sick and tired of starting over?

FIRST CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

You never have to start over ever again because starting over is a direct result of all-or-nothing thinking. If you're on your diet, you feel like you're doing great. If you slip up and cheat, then you feel bad about yourself and have to start over (again).

If you're human (like the rest of us) this happens a lot. It can be frustrating to feel like you failed every time you didn't live up to the unrealistic expectations that you set for yourself. You may feel like you failed, but in reality you simply have a too strict definition of success.

CHANGE YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

If success means you will never eat a "bad" carb ever again, then I have news for you. You will either be "successful" and miserable or you will fail at this unrealistic goal and feel bad about yourself for it. You see how this is no-win scenario? 

A better definition of success is to always do the best you can with what is reasonable in the moment. If that means you can't eat the perfect macro ratio of protein, carbs and fats because you're at a casual dining restaurant with your family, then what can you eat? What is the best choice you can make, even if that choice isn't the perfect choice?

It means that you can eat the birthday cake when celebrating with someone important to you (if you want to). It also means that you probably don't buy a cake every Friday night to eat over the weekend. You enjoy and celebrate when it is meaningful, but the rest of the time you make the best choice possible. It's not about being perfect. If you don't even try to be perfect, you never have to start over. You always do the best you can, and some days that will be better than other days. 

FIT HEALTHY LIVING INTO YOUR CURRENT LIFESTYLE, DON'T TRY TO CRAM YOUR LIFESTYLE INTO HEALTHY LIVING.

The problem with diets and meal plans and most new year resolutions is that they are structured to work best when life is perfect. Raise your hand if your life is always perfect. (Looks around. No hands are raised.) 

You can pencil in your workout schedule into your shiny new 2018 planner, but your planner can't predict when your boss will ask you to stay late at work. Your planner doesn't know your kid is going to come from from school and tell you he needs 100 cupcakes for tomorrow(!) and oh yeah, a book report. Your planner doesn't know your dog pooped in the kitchen overnight (my dog? never! perfect angel) and you have to miss your gym time because you're cleaning up the mess. It's not your planner's fault the alarm clock didn't go off because you set it for PM instead of AM (what? just me?). Or that you woke up and it is pouring down rain when you were planning to run. Get it? Life happens. It's not failure, it's just the way life works. It's unpredictable.

What is it that they say about best-laid plans? Yeah, they go awry. 

Instead of feeling like a failure because you didn't get in 60 minutes of structured exercise at an official gym, how about doing the best you can with what you have? Live stream a workout at home (I was going to say do a workout video, but I realized that made me sound really old, I might as well say dance along to your favorite cassette tape.)

Do a body weight strength or Yoga routine in your living room. Call your neighbor and go for a walk after dinner. Success means you tried. Success means you did the best you could with what was reasonably available. You can try for the gym again tomorrow, and if it doesn't work out? Go to plan B again. A bunch of days strung together with a plan B at home is always better than five perfectly structured workouts in your planner that you never did. 

You pack your lunch for five days, but the boss calls a mandatory meeting and orders lunch delivery for the team from a sandwich shop complete with chips and cookies...two days in a row. Do the best you can. Eat only half the sandwich, take the top piece of bread off, politely pass on the cookie. Not perfection, just a little bit better.

It's the true secret to a healthy lifestyle. Do the best you can. It's always enough. Forget perfect, strive for just a little bit better. Build healthy habits when life is calm (I swear it happens occasionally) so when life inevitability get crazy, you can fall back on habits and routine. 

Give yourself a break. If you lose the food rules, strict restrictions and unrealistic expectations you will never have to start over again. 

Ready to finally make changes in 2018 the sane and sustainable way by building healthy habits from the ground up? I still have a couple of openings in my nutrition habits program. Try the first month at 75% off to see if you like it. It is a year long curriculum but there is no long term payment commitment required, just a commitment to yourself that you will give it your best effort. If you're tired of starting over, learn how to fit healthy living into your current lifestyle so you never have to start over again.

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Coach Lea

Dear Me in 2018: A New Year Resolution Poem

Happy New Year, friends! This is my last blog post of 2017. I can hardly believe we are closing out another year. 2017 was a great year and I am looking forward to new opportunities and possibilities in 2018! I made some changes in my career in 2018 in order to have more time to focus on writing, training and coaching. In 2018 I resolve to put more energy and time into the things I value most.

Change can be scary, but I am taking a leap of faith and I'll just have to wait and see how it all shakes out. It feels both terrifying and exciting all at once. I'll just keep following my heart and moving forward one small step at a time (just like I advise my nutrition clients to do). 

I wrote this poem a few years ago and it seems to ring true every year. I repurposed it for 2018 to share it with you as we begin to think ahead to what we want to accomplish in the new year.

If you like my #badpoetry check out 'Twas the Night Before a Big Race, my Christmas inspired poem from runners. If not, don't worry, there are no more poems scheduled in the near future. hah.

Dear Me in 2018: A New Year Resolution poem. Save to Pinterest for later!

I wish you all the best in the year to come. Have you started thinking about your New Year Resolutions yet? I suggest you first take the time to reflect back on 2017, then think in terms of goal setting instead of resolutions. Need help? That's what I am here for!

Ready to make lasting, sane and sustainable changes in the new year? I have a new nutrition habit coaching group starting in January. My gift to you, Take 75% off your first month to see if you like it. Spots are extremely limited. Reserve your place now.

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COACH LEA

How to Stop Relying on Willpower and Motivation To Make Healthy Living a Habit

Habits shape our lives. Good or bad, habits are the activities we do on autopilot without thinking about them. We get out of bed and make a beeline for the coffee pot. We brush our teeth before bed, we drive the same route to work, sit at the same table at lunch and go to the same restaurant on Friday nights. I have good and bad habits, we all do. Every night after dinner, I do the dishes, then sit on the couch for snack and (currently) an episode of Game of Thrones. (Cersei? Really? You're pulling that crap again?) Could I do more productive things with my hour? Sure. Am I hungry? Do I need a snack? Probably not. It's just what my brain like to do, it's what's normal. It's what feels good and safe.  (This may be the first time in history that anyone ever said Game of Thrones makes them feel good and safe.) 

I conditioned my brain for this to be normal behavior after dinner. It's not bad, necessarily. Spending an hour in a guilty pleasure to unwind at the end of the day is probably fine as long as I am taking care of my responsibilities first and there's nothing wrong with a healthy (or even an occasional less-than-healthy snack) as part of balanced nutrition. How can I make this habit better? Usually we fall into habits without much thought or planning. They are just the things we do because our brain is used to doing them. 

The beautiful thing about habits is that we can work on developing new healthy habits so that our exercise and nutrition are on autopilot too. It's a simple concept but it's not necessarily easy. It's hard work. It takes time, but once developed the habits of eating healthfully and regular exercise can become effortless activities that you do because they makes you feel normal, safe and good. (Just like Games of Thrones. Just Kidding). No more daily forcing yourself to go to the gym against your will. no more internal battles in your head about your choices for lunch. Once the habits of healthy living are established, (it takes time!) it makes it all so much easier.  You don't have to rely on willpower or motivation. It's all in the habits once you train your brain. 

Some people take the white-knuckle approach to healthy living. They hold on tight, bear through it, grit their teeth and force themselves to eat kale and hit the gym at the busiest hour every single day. That may work for a time, but only for a time. How long will you endure punishment? How long until you fall off the wagon? Light the wagon on fire and live your life without strict exercise and nutrition rules while still living a healthy lifestyle. You can't fall off the wagon if there is no wagon. How do you turn healthy living into a series of habits on autopilot instead of a series of punishments? 

AWARENESS

The first step in changing our habits is awareness of our current habits. Do you check your phone as soon as you wake up? Pop open a beer every Friday night? Take a walk after dinner? Eat a snack at 3pm everyday? Good or bad we all have habits. Some are bringing us closer to our goals and some are (subconsciously) taking us further away. We don't even think about that candy from our co-worker's desk we pop in our mouth every time we pass. What are the automatic actions that are driving your day?

Spend an entire day writing down the actions you take on autopilot. Good, bad and neutral. Pay attention. What actions are you repeating on a daily basis without thought? There is no judgement in this exercise. It's just an exploration of current habits. Not all habits are bad and need changing. 

HABIT SWAPPING

After you spend a day writing down your daily habits, think about which habits you may want to change or improve upon. It's important to note that you should not attempt to change all your bad habits at once. As I mentioned, this takes time. Choose one thing to work on at a time. Maybe you hit the soda machine everyday at 3 o'clock for a mid afternoon caffeine boost. If you want to reduce your soda intake, this habit may be a good place to start. 

Maybe you could replace your soda with a sparkling water. I personally found the fizziness of sparkling water makes a suitable replacement for soda without the calories. If that is too much of a jump for you then maybe you could replace a full calorie drink with a diet drink.

"But Lea," you ask, "I thought diet drinks weren't that healthy either?" My philosophy on healthy living is that it is not about being perfect, it's about improving habits, one tiny step at a time. If you are not ready to switch from soda to water because it is too much of a jump, then a diet drink may be the bridge that gets you there eventually. It's never about being perfect, just a little bit better than before.

Maybe I can stretch or foam roll during my Game of Thrones hour. I could do a burpee everytime someone dies or says "winter is coming." (That could be exhausting.) That is taking a current habit and improving it. 

Maybe you could get your mid afternoon energy boost by taking a 10 minute walk instead of drinking a soda. What do you think would work for you? What would be a suitable swap for this habit? There is no right or wrong answer, just the right or wrong answer for you. 

We are not trying to go from bad habit to perfect living (spoiler alert: there's no such thing). We are aiming to improving our habits one small step at a time. What could you work on first?

ENJOYMENT

I said it once before but it bears repeating now (if you get the reference, I love you). Healthy living as punishment for being overweight or eating "bad" foods is not an effective long-term strategy. You can not force yourself to do things you view as punishment for an extended period of time.

You don't have to atone for your food sins with exercise. You don't have to give up every food you ever loved in exchange for chicken and broccoli. These things don't work for long term weight loss. 

You have two options that do work. You can either find the activities/foods that you love that also happen to be healthy and do more/eat more of those or you can learn to love new activities/foods that are healthy. 

If you hate running, then please don't try to force yourself to run. What do you love? Weightlifting? Zumba? Yoga? Walking? Rollerblading? Trampoline acrobatics? Find a way to move your body that you enjoy and do more of that. Does everything feel hard and uncomfortable? Of course it does. That's actually normal.

Give it a real chance. Try something new. Start small. Stick with it long enough to get through the newbie pains and benefit from the newbie gains. There are definite benefits to being a newbie. Whatever you try, give it three months. If you still hate it after three months, find something else. Movement is natural. Find the movement that feels natural for you. Start as small as you need to...

SMALL STEPS

The biggest mistake people make when trying to make lifestyle changes is that they attempt to change too much at once. You can't change your whole life in one day. It's just not how humans function. "Starting in January I am going to get up at 5am, exercise, eat a salad for lunch and dinner, read a book and clean my house every day." It won't last for long. Most people in this scenario will quickly become frustrated, overwhelmed and go back what feels good. 

Take one thing at a time. Want to get up earlier? Set the alarm for 10 minutes earlier and get used to that for two weeks, then add another 10 minutes until you are at the time you want to get up. It takes longer to get there, but the habit sticks. If you set your alarm for an hour earlier then turn it off every day until you eventually stop setting it at all, you'll never get there. Slow, small steps are more effective. 

If you want to eat healthier, start by adding vegetables to every meal. That's it. Do that for a while, then decide what feels like the next natural small step. Need help? That is what my nutrition habits coaching program is all about. 

CONSISTENCY

The most important piece of building a habit is consistency. The way you train your brain for a new habit is by being consistent. Want to get in the habit of exercise? Set aside 10 minutes a day, every single day. In the beginning it is more about the consistent action than it is about the exercise.

Tell yourself you can never miss your 10 minute exercise session. Do it at the same time every day if you can. Whether it is a mile run, a quick bodyweight strength routine, a Yoga sequence, a walk or mobility work, get in the habit of 10 minutes every day. It doesn't matter what it is. If you can do more than 10 minutes, even better, but stick to at least your 10 minute a day bare minimum goal. 10 minutes too hard? Start with five. Move up to 10 later. Start as small as you need to in order to be consistent.

At the end of the week, even if you only got in your 10 minutes every day, you completed an hour and ten minutes of exercise, which is still better than nothing. 

Whatever habit you choose to change or improve upon, It is important you do it every single day. Consistency is key to building a new habit.

EXPECTATIONS

Change is hard. Healthy living changes are extremely hard. Set your expectations up front. Don't expect that your 10 minute a day exercise habit will cause you to lose 30 lbs in three weeks. Don't imagine that switching from regular soda to diet soda will melt your fat off or doing 100 crunches a day will give you six pack abs (spoiler alert: it won't). When you change your habits the changes start on the inside that you can't see. You are improving your health from the inside out. 

You will mess up. Repeat after me, "I will mess up." We all do. It's part of that whole human thing. Do the best you can, when you do mess up (you will), get back up and move on. Leave the mistakes behind you, learn from them, try to do better tomorrow. Failure is part of it.

Jaime Lannister: There are always lessons in failures.
Olenna Tyrell: Yes. You must be very wise by now.

Ok, I'm done geeking out now. 

Extreme measures might have faster short-term results, but are those results sustainable? Consider this: If you lose 20 pounds in four weeks but then 12 weeks later gain it all back (plus more) was it worth the extreme measures? Or is it better to lose twenty pounds in six months but keep it off forever, because you lost the weight slowly by changing your lifestyle habits in a sustainable manner? 

When we shift our focus away from quick fixes, fat loss shakes, supplements and extreme exercise programs in order to focus on healthy habits then a healthy lifestyle naturally emerges. It takes longer but it is worth it because you don't have to beat yourself up trying to force behaviors that are unnatural for you. Manage your own expectations. Focus on health and wellness rather than weight loss. Love the process.

SUPPORT

One of the biggest factors in success when making changes is support. Who can you lean on? Do you have an accountability buddy? One idea is to simply find a friend with similar goals and agree to hold each other accountable to your new healthy habits. Send an email or a text every day confirming you are staying on track with your new habit.

Join a run club, find a meetup group, join a Facebook group, hire a coach, go to a fitness class, surround yourself with like-minded people. It's easier than ever to connect with people with similar goals.

Need more support? My online nutrition habits program from Precision Nutrition is a year-long curriculum designed to build healthy habits from the ground up. It's the sane and sustainable way to healthy living. Learn more about how you can quit diets, stop relying on willpower and motivation, and make healthy living a habit once and for all. The first month is 75% OFF to try!

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EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED ON THE LONG RUN

I publish three posts a week on this blog. My blog writing process usually includes cramming all three posts into one day on a Sunday while all my household chores go untouched.

Writing is the easy part for me. It's coming up with three new and interesting topics each week that is harder. I usually keep my mind open to ideas all week and text myself if anything comes to mind. Then when I sit down to write on Saturday and Sunday, I review my notes and start writing. Sometimes before I begin to write I have no idea what I will write about and wonder if I will be able to crank out another three posts. Inevitability it all comes together by Sunday night and I am all set for the week. 

Last weekend I had an incredibly full and busy Saturday and then a long run planned for Sunday. I wrote two of the blogs on Sunday morning but my mind was going blank for today's post. With two blog posts done I hit the streets in Fort Worth for an eight mile training run for the Cowtown half marathon in February. There is nothing like a long run to get those creative juices flowing. I came up with the idea for the post and wrote it mostly in my head over those eight miles. If only I had a voice recorder I may not have had the hard part of translating it all to the keyboard once I returned home. 

What did I think about on my long run this week? I thought a lot about how running teaches us life lessons and the parallels between life and the long run. 

EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED ON THE LONG RUN.

YOU CAN'T RUSH PROGRESS

You can't rush progress or results. If you try to go out too fast you will lose steam. It you try to increase your miles too soon you could risk injury. It's detrimental to do too much too soon. A better strategy for life and the long run is to take things slowly and progress as you are ready. Slow and steady may not win the race, but it gets us across the finish line happy and healthy.

YOU NEED TO PUT IN THE WORK TO REAP THE REWARDS

Have you ever showed up for a race untrained? I have and it makes for a miserable experience. In order to reap the rewards you have to put in the daily work. It's the consistent hard work over weeks, months and years that pays off in the end. You can't cut corners on the path to success. Consistency is the key.

YOU NEED TO REST AFTER WORKING HARD

After a long run it's best to take a rest day or two. You have to recover after putting in hard work. You just can't keep grinding without a break. Work hard then recover hard, both in running and in life. Schedule a massage, take a vacation, lock the bathroom door while you take a bubble bath. Work hard, recover, repeat. 

BE IN THE MOMENT

On a long run it's not a good idea to think about how much farther you have to go. You'll do best to focus on the mile you are in. Appreciate where you are, don't focus too much on how far you have to go to reach your goals. Focus on the things you need to do right now to move yourself towards your goals.

ACHIEVING HARD THINGS GIVES YOU CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE HELPS YOU TO ACHIEVE HARD THINGS

One of the great life lessons that running teaches us is that we can do hard things. Remember the first time you ran one mile or a 5K? It seemed like an impossible feat. Then you did it. Then you knew you could do it. Then you realized you could do more. Then you did more. Achieving hard things gives you confidence, confidence helps you achieve hard things. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things that seem hard. You never know what you are capable of, you may surprise yourself. 

IT'S A MENTAL GAME

As much as running is physical, it is mental. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Sure, you need to be prepared, but a positive mindset and a few well placed mantras can get you through the tough times during a long run. Keep your chin up, look for the bright side, stay positive and you'll do great on that run and in life.

YOU HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE WITH YOUR PLANS

As a running coach I will tell you that the best training plan is one that is dynamic, one that changes over time as you do. It's impossible to know sixteen weeks in advance exactly how your body will respond to various training. In life and the long run, have a plan, but be flexible. Life changes. Stay consistent but have flexibility in the path to get there. 

WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL YOU CAN GO AT IT ALONE, BUT WHEN TIMES GET TOUGH IT'S BETTER WITH FRIENDS

A long run can be a lonely run and when things are going well, you can surely do it alone, but when times get tough the support of running friends can help you through those tough miles. Whether it's a cheering family member on the sidelines, a friend joining for you for the last five miles or words of wisdom from a loved one that you repeat in your head, lean on your friends when you need them most, ask for help and welcome their support. It's a lesson that will serve you well in running and in life.

YOU CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING, TRY TO MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING

You can't control the weather, that loose dog or that jerk that yelled "Run, Forrest, Run" out of his car window at you. It rained during your long run, It was 90 degrees and humid during your race. $hit happens. You can only control the things you can control, for everything else do your best to let it go. 

USE GRATITUDE TO GET THROUGH THE PAIN

Sometimes when I am having a particularly hard run, I try to focus on the things I am thankful for instead of the pain. I have two strong legs and a healthy heart. The weather is nice today. I have the drive and motivation to be out here in the first place. I live in a neighborhood where it is safe to run on the streets. I have enough food to fuel my body for runs. I have enough income to spend some of it on race entries and gear. Shifting my focus to gratitude helps get me through those miles and my life. 

What has running taught you? 

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COACH LEA